12/24/08

Christmas with a capital C!

Christmas Eve! Great service at CCV tonight. Helped me get in the right frame of mind. Holiday sales, santas, snowmen, stress.. all fade away when you focus on the simple beauty of the reason for celebration- God with us.

Have to work tomorrow and through Saturday. Nurses just don't get great vacays!

Working on some improvements in my life. Feeling good and with direction.

Another topic. Was at a friends house for a little party recently. Met friends of my friend that I have heard about in the past. We mix like oil and water. I kept thinking how they were acting annoying and immature. Might be my personal problem. Better to be alone than be around people that you don't love? Maybe I need to make more of an effort?

12/14/08

Let It Be

It's been quite awhile since I've written anything and it's not from lack of wanting. I find myself with a little free time this Sunday evening and also with a pensive air, and so it seems appropriate to sit for a spell and write. Beyond other things that are giving me an ulcer right now, I must confess I am spending a lot of time thinking about my faith (lack of) and how I wish I could get a "revelation" like the Third Day song belts out. Wouldn't it be so easy if I could just touch the intangible, hear the voice of the One who speaks all around me but I seem to be deaf to, or feel the touch of love that I know encompasses me. I can't feel Him, I don't see Him and my words of love are devoid of emotion. But what I know, I know for sure. Lord, help my unbelief. I won't part from You. I will continue to seek. To cry. To hope. All the happy people with all the happy faces- is anyone feeling the way I feel?
I do love Christmas. I love the carols, the lights, the excitement, and the feeling of good will towards men. Thank you for turning the world upside down with Jesus' birth, God! I love it.
When I read a book I [sometimes] am so impressed with the imagination and creativity of the story that I wonder why my life's story doesn't have that richness. You are more creative than any simple author anywhere, God! So, author of my life.... will the page turn to an interesting sentence soon? Then, I remember; it's all about You. So, let it be. Let it be. Let it be a song so sweet- let it be.